I
want to thank you for all the comments on my last post. It’s good to know that it’s OK to feel this way. It’s inevitable to compare yourself to others, especially when such a big part of our lives is online for everyone to see.
I think this is such a big part of the problem. I call it “inspiration overload”. Every single day while going through the art & design blogs, online magazines, artist portfolios I see so many amazing things, new ideas, the accomplishments of others – how creative they are, how beautiful and nicely decorated their homes are, how perfectly designed blogs they have, how successful their business is…and I get lost.
And every day I find something new – a new blog, website, artist …and it just piles on that big pile called “Things that I’d also like to do, have, achieve”. And there, underneath is my own poor self, suffocating and trying to set myself free.
Inspiration is important, but it has become such an interference, a constant noise that prevents me from just taking the time and taking a deep breath and saying: “Let’s start from here and we’ll see where this adventure takes me”. Just strip everything down to what I really want, start small and take it from there.
It’s just so difficult when I look at that small start and then look at that big pile and then look again and it just intimidates me into crawling back under it. Yes, I have to compete with myself but I’m so paralyzed with that combination of fake perfectionism and low self-esteem, confronted with these high expectations that I have built for myself in comparing to others, that I can’t move.
So how do I find the strenght to start small? I think it’s a matter of “Retreat and regroup”. Just make the time to clear my mind of all that “inspiration” clutter and build the strenght to stand tall and defend my positions. So, I’m cutting down the time that I spend browsing design blogs, etc. and will try to meditate for at least half an hour every day and just be alone with my thoughts. Do you have any other advices?
Just found your blog today via Pinterest and LOVE what you're doing! Keep up the awesome work.
I've got 20 years on you and I still fall pray to the inspiration overload/comparing myself to others/never gonna get there nonsense….and that's what it is….nonsense.
One day, you'll find you're right where you're suppose to be doing what you're suppose to be doing at the time you're suppose to be doing it. That day could be today, next week, next year or in two decades, but come it will.
The sooner you find that stillness inside and accept it as being you, the happier you'll be. It won't mean you won't occasionally forget, but you'll come back to you much sooner.
Happy day to you—everyday!
Wow, Masha, I am overwhelmed at your talent. I, too, just found your blog today via Pinterest. You truly have a gift with your hand lettering so I would like to encourage you. Don't try to compare yourself with others as we all struggle with after all, I wonder how many people are comparing themselves to you and feeling the same way.
Frankly, I'd advise the same thing. Stay away from situations that might tempt you to make comparisons and take some me-time to build yourself up.
Hi there,
Wow, it looks like you can peer inside my head.
I feel exactly the same way (even the age is the same… I'm 27 years old too!).
I've spent the last two years trying to be the "perfect illustrator" and feeling bad when realizing I'm not there yet. I need to retreat and regroup but… how to do it? I don't know where and when I lost my way, so I don't know how to find myself again.
how incredibly reassuring to read your words! it's so easy to fall into the trap that we're the only ones that become trapped under the weight of everyone's talent (everyone = every single human being except ourselves). even looking at your work, i'm thinking "what does she mean? she's one of those talented people that we come across every day!" but realizing we have to look at our own work more objectively, embracing the mistakes and beauty and growth for what they are.
Masha, you are so lovely (and incredibly talented), and I just want you to know that you're not alone. I struggle with these same feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, comparison, too. I know how tough it can be.
A few years ago I realized that even though I'm a blogger…I just can't read most blogs. It creates a terribly feeling of dissatisfaction within me, and the more I read them, the more unhappy I became. So one day I stopped. Now I have only a choice few blogs (mostly personal blogs from my close friends) that I read on a daily basis, and I can't tell you how much lighter it has made me feel. So as far as advice…I'd suggest cutting back on the sites you visit. If you find that every time you visit a particular site you leave feeling less-than, take that as your hint to leave it behind. I think somehow it is easy to forget that we actually do have a choice about what content we want to see and take in, but the choice really is entirely up to us.
Sending lots of hugs your way. If you ever want to have a heart-to-heart via email, you know where to find me. xo Ez
Hi Masha (and fellow commenters)!
A terribly creative friend of mine and I have been sharing these same feelings and frustrations. We have wonderful ideas and innate talent that we just can't seem to give into. We've been sharing sources of encouragement/people we can relate to/inspirational quotes & blogs with each other and she just sent me a link to your blog. Your work is gorgeous, and I don't throw that word out for everyone.
In our hunt for the courage to see past our fears, two tips have come up quite a bit. The first is exactly what you're suggesting here. The biggest difference between myself now and myself as a fearless child is the amount of time I used to spend daydreaming or unintentionally meditating vs. comparing myself to others I thought were better than me. Daydreaming used to be 90% to the 10% I probably spent giving into fear. Now it's more like the complete opposite. In the last month I have limited almost all blog-reading time, but kept Pinterest (which I may need to chill out on). I still struggle to keep that freed time meditating, but I'm getting better (wow I'm starting to really talk a lot here! bear with me!)
The second suggestion I keep seeing is to create a community of ladies (and gents!) that help you stay on track. People that can teach you, inspire you, and push you. Even if you feel like you have very little to contribute. I thought I could never find the courage to ask people to start a small "creative support group" but I'm tackling this silly fear one step at a time. If you, or any of the other readers/commenters out there would be interested in joining us – I would be extremely honored! Ez, I'm sure you already have something like this, but the offer extends to you too!
If anyone is interested, tweet me or comment here! If you're interested in learning more about the friend that I mentioned, her Pinterest username is: itselectric. She has awesome taste. I almost can't stand it!
haha dont feel discourage Masha…and look at those posts …you are great inspiration !!…I am already 50 and fell the same ….my 21 years old (Fine Art student) 's kicking my butt when she sees me spend too much on the Net
but again I will have never found your beautiful blog !? keep doing your great work and Yes….
meditation early morning seems to be helpful.. ( french decorative painter ( Metamorfaux) based in NYC….A bientot ! Sylvie
Hi there, I’ve been a visitor to your site for a few months now and can I just say…I completely and utterly relate to everything you’ve just said, I’ve just imposed a no-facebook, no-’inspiration browsing’ mantra in the last couple of days because, just like you, I am suffering crazy life-comparison-syndrome where nothing you do can ever seem live up to the wonderful things others are doing and sharing online. But I wanted you to know that your blog has been one of the most lovely and visually inspiring things I have seen in a long time….and of all the sites I have culled from my list in the past few days yours has been one that has stayed. So thank you, and please keep going with your lovely, natural, innate sense of style. You are inspiring!
Jess
Thank you for writing this post! I read it when you first wrote it and I still think of your words.
I also have these frustrating feelings/thoughts and I think that most of us get these feelings once in a while.
Nice to read all the comments above too.
Keep up your good and inspiring work!
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