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o…this is one of those days when I feel like I need to breathe in a paper bag. Spirit crushed and all that. That feeling when you see/hear/read about someone that is very successful and has achieved so much and you think: “Shit. I’m never going to come even close to that…” And just the thought of the things that you’re not, but you’re supposed to be…
I’m 27 and I know I should be wiser. Probably the most valuable lessons that I have come to realize for myself are that the things that happen naturally and evolve organically are the ones that should happen to me. When it starts to feel like a struggle, it means that I’ve stepped away from my own path. That I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others, that I should trust my inner voice, that everything seems better or worse from afar…but still.
It doesn’t mean that I should not do anything to improve myself, to evolve, to venture into unknown places or step outside my confort zone…but I think when it’s right, apart from fear you should also feel that spark of enthusiasm that keeps you awake at night.
So, typing this I come to realize for whatever time that comparing myself to others has done nothing but stopped me from expressing my true self, doing things my own way or at my own pace (rather then not doing them at all for being too afraid that it’s not the right way), wasting energy at trying to do things I don’t really want and just plainly wasting time in worrying.
Have you felt this, have you felt overwhelmed of the things that you’re not…I hope you have. And if you have, you and I both should remember that we should compete with ourselves and not with others. Learn from them – yes, comparing brings nothing but trouble.
you got it! i enjoy your blog, mostly your paintings. They're just great!
I answer your question with a resounding yes. I hate it and it's annoying!
loved reading this. i'm 27 as well, and basically changed careers a bit after college. i see others my age who have it going on with their careers. some days it takes everything i have to step back and remind myself that i'd be in their shoes too if i'd stuck with my original plan. i've come so far from just a year ago! and i'm sure you have too…
this is such a beautiful post. thank you for saying all the things we all think. you have such a unique and lovely style that is distinctly you. keep expressing that!!
Oh i feel the same, I?m 25 and i often think that my life should be made by now but it?s not, I?m still a mess and don?t have a proper career or job, I?m still trying to find out who i am. It?s so hard but i guess it helps to know there are people feeling like this too! It?s not that terrible, we will all find our ways but maybe it?ll take longer. We must stop comparing to others, I do but it?s a terrible habit. I give you a hug from far away and let?s go and be the ones we want to be!
Beautifully written and absolutely true. And, yes, I have felt this way
Oh my goodness yes yes yes!! These are my feelings and thoughts. Thanks for putting them into words and reminding of how to live life.
Yep, I feel this often! I think the key is what you say at the end. The only person worth competing with is yourself. Plus, someone else is probably looking at you feeling the same way!
This is so much of what I have been feeling the past month. Such a beautiful post and so well said.
I wish I had had this insight in my 20s as comparing will only cause insecurity and by doing so, you only hold yourself back.
Love, love, love your work ~ so don't even try to change or compare!!
I promise you're not alone in feeling this way. I hope that some day I'll stop comparing and doubting myself, but until then I think the key is to notice when I'm doing that and to come back to myself. Thank you for your beautiful, thoughtful post!
Upward comparison hurts self-confidence. Downward comparison boosts it. Since you can always find people "better" and "worse" than yourself, in the end you come to a 0.
But I tend to agree, comparing yourself to others is a total waste of time, no matter the effect on your confidence.
hello. i know this is an old post but i was just going through your archives and found it and it struck a chord. i got here via a pinterest pin – circles in pencil – which i loved. no need to compare yourself to others, your blog is really original and since i’ve recently been feeling really bored by some of the blogs (shhh don’t tell!), this is like a breath of fresh air! i dropped out of pinterest for a little while a few months back, also found the image overload totally overwhelming and i was unable to find my own voice for a while. dip in and out. i find that works for me.
anyway, you are probably over this by now, since it was 6 months ago! but just felt i wanted to write.
francesca